How to Help a Child Who Doesn't Respond to Discipline

Instructions

Assess

1. Observe your current use of discipline and its outcome. Is it working?
2. When the use of discipline or punishment. Discipline comes from the word "Disciple", which means "to teach." Children are more likely to respond positively to a method of teaching, the real life choices and consequences as with fear-based punishment includes.
3. When the use of discipline or punishment. Discipline comes from the word "Disciple", which means "to teach." Children are more likely to respond positively to a method of teaching, the real life choices and consequences as with fear-based punishment includes.
4. Make a list of behaviors of that bother you. On the opposite side of the list, please write down the behaviors you want to see instead or to appreciate what you know about your child.
5. Decide which behaviors do not need discipline and which ones need to be addressed.
6. Think about how you can your child from point of view of loving approach so that he, wants to work with you. Note can real instructions that you use with your child that confirm to promote your child's value and cooperation. For example "I really appreciate that you the blocks picked up" or "I noticed that Maggie helped, if these children were her bother." "You showed that you care."

Discuss

1. Talk with your child about discipline and ask your child how he want to solve behavior problems. Older children often have solutions with those parents would find acceptable.
2. Focus on behaviors you would like to see rather than spell out a list of forbidden behaviors.
3. If you have a pre-verbal child, consider ways you can redirect behavior from something that is inappropriate to an appropriate action.

Choice

1. Point out the choices your child makes all through out the day so the focus is not only on negative outcomes.
2. Teach with choices rather than punishment. If your child will not pick up her toys when asked, offer her a choice. Say something like, "If you pick up your toys now you will have them to use later today
3. Offer to join in and clean up together with children who are young or very frustrated.

 Consistency

1. Be careful not to overuse choices and consequences so they become punishment in disguise.
2. Plan ahead and follow through with choices and consequences so you and your child both get used to a consistent way of teaching.
3. Allow yourself the space to experiment and grow with the process of discipline. This may be a new way of teaching your child, and there may be times when you question yourself.

Anger

1. Describe how you feel rather than direct your anger toward your child.
2. If you feel at any point that you have crossed the line into punishment because you are angry, don't be afraid to apologize and start over.
3. Discuss ways to appropriately deal with anger with your child. Children who are old enough can talk about what they are feeling, while not blaming others.